Today our baby Aidan is one month old. Our family celebrates this little but first milestone and wonder where the time has gone! The kids shower him with kisses and delight in singing him "Happy Birthday!" He is adored by all--Mommy and Daddy and each of his 6 siblings. He has that baby acne right now all over his face, head and chest...but still he is beautiful to us. He is getting alot more alert when he is not sleeping--which is wonderful, except over the night...last night I didn't get much sleep :( but its amazing how God enables a mommy to still function and so love her baby.
I was pondering his "one month" and I began thinking about how different life was for our Sean...then Vladik when he was one month-old in the Ukraine. He was left at the hospital after his birth because he has Downs Syndrome and put in the Maternity ward. At one month he was placed in the orphanage where he would spend his first 3 1/2 years. There was no celebration of a family over his milestone, no siblings delighting over holding him, no Mommy to nurse him or comfort him with the voice he heard while in the womb, no Daddy to hold him gently in his strong arms, noone to truly delight in him. I can't imagine what it must have been like for him, a baby, designed by God to be nurtured and loved by a family, to be thrust into a large orphanage with many other babies/children and many, constantly changing caregivers. Even if they were kind, attentive, and cared about him, which I'm sure some did, he was not loved deeply like only parents or a family can. There was noone whom he could depend on to always be there for him. He was one of many to feed, diaper and care for. And of course that is the best scenario--it may have been worse as it is at some places for orphans (especially disabled ones), we don't know.
I wonder how difficult it must have been-- maybe still is-- for his birth parents to give up their child and leave him, after carrying him full term and giving birth to him. We do not know why exactly he was left, though have learned that it is common there for people to place a child with any (even a mild) disability in the orphanage, partly due to financial strain and lack of resources for children with disabilities as well as the stigma of disability. Some think they can not handle it and some believe they will be better off if they are adopted. I have never given birth to a disabled child and while I know there are challenges, we believe that every child is made by God and is precious in His sight. We thank God that his birth parents gave him the gift of life...no small thing, as we learned through a Ukrainian christian couple who run a life care center for pregnant moms, that many doctors encourage abortion of babies even if their disability is as mild as a cleft palate, which is fixable with surgery. Still, if a disabled child. like Sean, is not adopted they are transfered to a mental institution...usually around age 4 ...and they often do not survive long.
So on Aidan's one month birthday we realize how blessed Aidan is, and we remember how many, many children do not have such love --love that God intended for a mother and father to give to their child. We also remember what Sean lacked and what he had to deal with from a young age. While he is a blessing and joy, there are many things he does that we don't understand and that are a challenge to us--some due to his disability but also some that he developed to survive with out the consistant love of a family and the constant presence of many other needy children his exact age (without the cognitive and physical challenges he faced) There are things he undoubtedly failed to develop because of these conditions also. It is so easy to live in the moment of challenges and be discouraged and forget the big picture....of why he is the way he is and why we adopted him; of his value in God's sight and his potential with love.
I thank God for showing me this through Aidan, and I pray that He will help us to remember this more and better show Sean the love, acceptance and encouragment of a mother, a father (and brothers and sisters) which every child needs.
Wednesday the 11th will be Sean's 4th birthday--stay tuned!
I was pondering his "one month" and I began thinking about how different life was for our Sean...then Vladik when he was one month-old in the Ukraine. He was left at the hospital after his birth because he has Downs Syndrome and put in the Maternity ward. At one month he was placed in the orphanage where he would spend his first 3 1/2 years. There was no celebration of a family over his milestone, no siblings delighting over holding him, no Mommy to nurse him or comfort him with the voice he heard while in the womb, no Daddy to hold him gently in his strong arms, noone to truly delight in him. I can't imagine what it must have been like for him, a baby, designed by God to be nurtured and loved by a family, to be thrust into a large orphanage with many other babies/children and many, constantly changing caregivers. Even if they were kind, attentive, and cared about him, which I'm sure some did, he was not loved deeply like only parents or a family can. There was noone whom he could depend on to always be there for him. He was one of many to feed, diaper and care for. And of course that is the best scenario--it may have been worse as it is at some places for orphans (especially disabled ones), we don't know.
I wonder how difficult it must have been-- maybe still is-- for his birth parents to give up their child and leave him, after carrying him full term and giving birth to him. We do not know why exactly he was left, though have learned that it is common there for people to place a child with any (even a mild) disability in the orphanage, partly due to financial strain and lack of resources for children with disabilities as well as the stigma of disability. Some think they can not handle it and some believe they will be better off if they are adopted. I have never given birth to a disabled child and while I know there are challenges, we believe that every child is made by God and is precious in His sight. We thank God that his birth parents gave him the gift of life...no small thing, as we learned through a Ukrainian christian couple who run a life care center for pregnant moms, that many doctors encourage abortion of babies even if their disability is as mild as a cleft palate, which is fixable with surgery. Still, if a disabled child. like Sean, is not adopted they are transfered to a mental institution...usually around age 4 ...and they often do not survive long.
So on Aidan's one month birthday we realize how blessed Aidan is, and we remember how many, many children do not have such love --love that God intended for a mother and father to give to their child. We also remember what Sean lacked and what he had to deal with from a young age. While he is a blessing and joy, there are many things he does that we don't understand and that are a challenge to us--some due to his disability but also some that he developed to survive with out the consistant love of a family and the constant presence of many other needy children his exact age (without the cognitive and physical challenges he faced) There are things he undoubtedly failed to develop because of these conditions also. It is so easy to live in the moment of challenges and be discouraged and forget the big picture....of why he is the way he is and why we adopted him; of his value in God's sight and his potential with love.
I thank God for showing me this through Aidan, and I pray that He will help us to remember this more and better show Sean the love, acceptance and encouragment of a mother, a father (and brothers and sisters) which every child needs.
Wednesday the 11th will be Sean's 4th birthday--stay tuned!
Here are some photos of one of Aidan's first outings....to Patoka Reservoir. (He was only a week old then :) The kids and our dog Donner enjoyed exploring and it was a beautiful day. Nana and Danielle are with us too.
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