To go or not to go...out to dinner

The other night our family went out to eat at the Olive Garden...thanks to Uncle Paul's generous Christmas gift! We've had a lot of unexpected bills lately so we welcomed a free and delicious meal at a place we don't usually get to go to.

HOnestly, though I love the food, my first thought was to just send John with our oldest 5 biological kids who can all, when needed, sit quietly and blend in pretty well... as well as 5 children can, as even when we just had 5 of our 9 we attracted some looks and comments (ie. "are they all yours?") But they know pretty much ( maybe not always our almost 4 year-old , but the rest at least) that in a restaurant you need to sit quietly and behave a certain way.

Our special needs kids with DS don't know about social norms of behavior. It can be interesting. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable but we are getting more used to it! If Sean is excited, ie. if he sees FOOD, he will let you know it, with great exuberance! If Lily is upset because you are not feeding her, she will let you know it, by arching back and banging her head against the chair...hard...over and over. They like to make noise....forks and tables work well...and they like to touch...EVERYTHING.

Our son JOshua has an 18th chromosomal disorder and cognitively is like an infant though he is four. He is getting more alert and aware of whats around him, and likes being near us. But when he is sad, he cries...very LOUDLY...unconsolably at times. When he is happy, he squeals...LOUDLY. We have gotten used to it, but the thought of this possibility at a quiet restaurant was daunting and honestly, I didn't want to risk it.

But, at the spur of the moment we decided to head to the Olive Garden one night and the kids were very excited. I don't think JOhn had thought about these things but I was wondering how this would go, and mainly worried about us disturbing those who'd come to pay alot of money for a nice dinner. I also didn't want to be uncomfortable...because I knew it was something I couldn't control...at all. You see, I can't reason with Joshua to be quieter. Sometimes feeding or changing him or comforting him helps, sometimes it doesnt right away. I can't control if Sean will yell with excitement or grab someones food :) or if Lily would throw plates down .

It started rough...Joshua started crying hard when we first got in so we hurriedly filled his bottle to feed him (making a note to remember to feed him before we go out next time). I think the greeters at the restaurant weren't sure what to make of us. After the 2nd bottle, he calmed down and would you know he was quiet and happy the rest of the time in his stroller?

Despite my hope to be in a private room off to the side, we were seated at tables in smack in the center of the main dining room. Oh boy. After the initial chaos of figuring seating arrangements so all little ones had someone to help them, we ordered and were situated. I took Lily in my lap since she'd started hitting the table and after that she did amazingly well since she had my individual constant attention to feed her and hold onto her arms when needed :) Sean did pretty well next to his brother and myself (with reminders to be quiet) and enjoyed every minute of eating the good food (as did Lily who loves to eat too). Our baby did well too even though big sister fed him instead of Mommy...they often do but you never know when he's going to only want Mommy. The kids enjoyed talking and playing the menu games, and of course trying everyone's food...one advantage to having a big family.

Much to my surprise it went quite well and we had a good time, despite feeling like we were on display. It was a true blessing when an older man stopped by and told us that he had enjoyed watching our family....and seeing the children helping each other and enjoying each other, which he doesn't usually see. Wow, was that humbling....first after knowing I didn't know about bringing everyone, and then just knowing that it was only by God's grace. AS we were leaving too, another table stopped us and commented on how we had a beautiful family and they enjoyed seeing us, and one of them worked in special needs. I mentioned about our special needs adoptions and one lady there was leaving for the Ukraine the next day!

Once again I was reminded what blessings all of our children were and that they are not just for "us" but are for the blessing of others and for the glory of God.