This is Heidi our mininubian doe. THe last 2 days Heidi has been distraught. Every few minutes she lets out an urgent, desperate "MAAAA!" She is calling for her newborn kids. She has escaped her pen many times in the last two days and gone searching.... in the other goat pens, in the woods, and in the stall where she gave birth just 2 days ago.
You see, her twin bucklings who were born two days ago died shortly after birth. The second born buckling was very very skinny and weak and could hardly hold his head up and despite our efforts to warm him and get colostrum into him, he became unresponsive about 40 minutes after birth. The first born was more sturdy...he seemed very healthy and even was starting to stand and nurse...but about 60 minutes after the birth he too suddenly became weak and unresponsive. Our kids were crushed...we did not expect that. Our doe had been struggling with something the last 2 weeks of her pregnancy and the vet had us treat her for pregnancy toxemia (which can be fatal)--basically she was not able to consume enough nutrients for the babies so her own fat was being used and releasing harmful substances making her toxic, and making her stop eating her usual grain. So we worried that the mommy and her babies could die...when they were born alive we were elated, and then crushed when they died in our arms. It was an amazing privaledge to see these creatures of God be born and they were so beautiful, soft and perfect.
The vet said it most likely was their hearts (possible from a selenium deficiency since the mom stopped eating) for them to die like that. My mommy's heart is aching for my children especially my oldest girls who assisted with the birth...they have studied about goat birthing and counted down the days for Heidi's birth and were so excited, and even made goat sweaters! I was so proud of them and I wish so much I could've saved the babies. My 2nd oldest wanted to keep them under the heat lamp that day--just in case God wanted to heal them (we all know He could if He wanted) Its so hard to see them sad and hurting. Our family had a funeral for the bucklings with Daddy officiating. Even though it still makes us sad to think about it, we know that they were in God's hands and aren't with us anymore.
But not Heidi... she still yearns for her babies. She received them like a good momma--licking off their goo from the birth and cleaning them over and over. At the time of their death she was still anxiously working on delivering the placenta so we removed them so they wouldn't get trampled on. Once the placenta did pass and she was done, she became preoccupied with finding them. I thought of bringing them out to her to smell and maybe "see" that they weren't alive, but I didn't know if it would help or not, or if it would make it harder. I wish I had though more experienced goat friends have told me that it didn't help their goat whose kid died and they continued to maa for them for a couple days to a week. It is absolutely heartbreaking to hear her desperate cries, calling for her newborns, for her babies. While it may be instinctual for a goat (as one person pointed out in effort to make me feel better) she nonetheless is beside herself and without peace because her babies are not with her.
I couldn't help but think about the orphans in the world. If all human mommies were as concerned for their babies...if they yearned for them and couldn't rest without them... there wouldn't be many orphans. I know some mommies and daddies die and leave orphans but I also saw so many children in the one orphanage we adopted from who were put there by healthy parents. I also thought about how Heidi's newborns were disabled...yet she wants them passionately. Our adopted kids and the disabled orphans on Reeces Rainbow (www.reecesrainbow.org ) as well as many that are not even known about to adopt were abandoned at the orphange because they were not "normal." I don't know how a mommy could leave their child, for certainly our maternal instincts are as strong. I know some feel they must put them there for a "better" life (due to finances and situations) but is it really? I wonder if those biological mothers are haunted by those maternal separation feelings.
Having been through adoptions and witnessed many other precious families adopt, I know that substitute adoptive mommies yearn for the children GOd has led them to adopt. The longer the adoption takes the more intense is the longing to see, hold and bring that child home. Isn't that beautiful? To think that these children, who are wishing so much for a mommy and daddy to come love them, already have mamas yearning for them and praying and using all their energies to raise the money needed to pay their ransom. A true mommy's heart, whether for her biological child or her adopted child, is a beautiful thing indeed, and reflects the love our Heavenly Father has for each of His children.
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