Recently on a email group about special needs adoption, there was a question about what people thought/experienced regarding adopting out of birth order...in other words, adopting a child older than any of your biological children.
When we did our "educational" reading, we learned differing views about this subject-- some professionals dealing with adoptions advise against and sometimes even do not allow adopting out of birth order because of possible negative effects on the children. We weren't too concerned about it, and I recently read a post that I think puts to words some thoughts we have (and more)--not just about why birth order should not be a hindrance to reaching out to an orphan, but also why welcoming an orphan--in our case an orphan with a disability who will need life long support--is not a hindrance to our biological and "normal" children, but rather, is a blessing from the Lord that will bring out greater capacity to love the way He loves us.
http://blessingsfro methiopia. blogspot. com/2009/ 08/greater- capacity. html
Our kids are sooooo excited to adopt more special needs orphans--He has given them hearts with so much room to welcome in more--if they could, they would adopt 10 more! Maybe they will someday-- when they have familis of their own. They may not know all that is involved yet, but they are learning and growing, and I think our Heavenly Father smiles at what He is doing in them.
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